Learning to RELISH

I have been practicing the art of RELEASE all this year-- especially with my sons. First Ryan left for the military, and now Kevin is in Africa for the summer.  The dictionary makes it sound like a simple thing: release--to set at liberty.  It sounds like what I want to do, but my mother's heart resists.  It reminds me of the day of Nate's wedding when I said to another  parent  "it's hard to give up my oldest son."  "But you don't have to give him up!" was his response.   I knew that this parent didn't understand that to set someone free is to step out of the driver's seat in his life.  It is to relinquish the role of molder of his character and FINALLY admit by my actions that he is God's child and no longer "my" child.  It was always true; yet I clung to the role of #1 director in the drama of his life.  Release for me has been a gradual thing; I must often pry my fingers off the object of my love. I am now learning to be a friend to my sons; one who accepts, celebrates, loves and gives advice only when asked.  That's quite a change when you have been in a parent role for 27 years!!!

Now that my children are grown I cannot demand to be the first place they will turn for care when they hurt or advice when they struggle.  As they marry, I abdicate that role so they can create a new bond with their spouse.  It must be prominent if their marriage is to be healthy. If my sons are to be strong and confident men I must decline to make choices for them. I am no longer to interpret for them what the bible teaches, or what God wants from them.  They must learn to hear His voice for themselves.  I must move out of the way and release them to discover His wonderful plans for their lives.  God's creativity and love cause to pale any plans I may have dreamed for my children or myself!

So, my new word is RELISH--to regard with great pleasure or approval.  I am so blessed to have lived long enough to see all my sons develop a personal relationship with Christ whom I also love and serve. I can enjoy and celebrate their lives as believers and find a new freedom in serving Him myself as we all release to Him our expectations of what our lives "should be" and follow His lead into the future He has envisioned for us!

"I know what I'm doing.  I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11  The Message

A military Family

We are now a military family.  When I hear the word "troops" now I understand that means someone's son or husband or father.  I listen carefully to the news because the world situation now affects my son's life.  For the next 6 years he will have to ask permission to come home, or travel far from his assigned base. He will move wherever in the world he is assigned.   He has willingly committed himself to serve his country; to provide for my safety and yours.  I miss him, but I am proud.

I have a new understanding of mothers across the centuries whose sons have left to serve their country or a cause.  It is a mix of sadness and pride.

Every day this week my son Ryan reported for duty in his uniform to an Air Force Commander.  He isn't always sure from day to day what will be required of him.  He only knows he will do whatever he is asked to do"as a good soldier".

II Timothy 2:3
"Endure hardship with us like a good solider of Christ Jesus."

This verse reminds me of my service too.  I willingly follow Christ, not knowing from day to day what will be required of me.  I have staked everything on my King, my Commander Jesus Christ.  Hardship? Sadness?  I accept it all for the joy of  knowing HIM!

Measuring the past 10 years

Ten years ago this weekend I packed up my 3 children and all our worldly goods--and 2 cats--and moved over 200 miles to Thomasville.  I left my dream job and some awesome friends for the good of my children; and because God told me to.

Isaiah 30:19b "How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you , saying, "this is the way; walk in it."

For me it was EXACTLY like that.  It was scary and overwhelming, but clear that it was God's path for us.  Every test of proof I asked for God answered.  The new job had to pay our moving expenses.  DONE.  I had to move before second semester of high school started for Nate.  DONE.  I had to find a rental house in the school district I wanted for the boys.  DONE.  The job had to equal my current salary.  DONE.

So we moved on a COLD night in January, the holiday weekend. The plan was to follow the movers who left in the afternoon, but who is every really finished moving out on time???  So with a couple of great friends help we were finally ready to leave, but in the dark. 

The test of my faith came after 10:00 pm when I heard that awful bump, bump, bump of a flat tire in the middle of nowhere sandhills NCarolina.  When AAA travel club informed me by phone that they would NOT come to help me (DON"T ASK ME THIS STORY UNLESS YOU WANT TO HEAR EMOTION!) my faith was in the pits.

That's when the miracle started and God showed me what was in store for our cold little family.  Ryan, the 12 year old announced that he could change the tire.  He took over, told all of us what to do and he and his brothers changed that tire even with the car packed full of stuff and got us back on the road.

In these 10 years God has turned that sullen pre-teen into a 2nd Lieutennant in the US Air Force.  He turned my teenage music groupie into a Worship Leader/Song writer.  He turned an angry 8 year old into a young man with Africa on his heart.  And proved to this mom over and over in 8 years of single parenting that He would direct my path.

That's alot!  No wonder the term decade sounds so impressive!  And what God can do with our lives when we follow HIS direction....that is immearsurable.