Learning to RELISH

I have been practicing the art of RELEASE all this year-- especially with my sons. First Ryan left for the military, and now Kevin is in Africa for the summer.  The dictionary makes it sound like a simple thing: release--to set at liberty.  It sounds like what I want to do, but my mother's heart resists.  It reminds me of the day of Nate's wedding when I said to another  parent  "it's hard to give up my oldest son."  "But you don't have to give him up!" was his response.   I knew that this parent didn't understand that to set someone free is to step out of the driver's seat in his life.  It is to relinquish the role of molder of his character and FINALLY admit by my actions that he is God's child and no longer "my" child.  It was always true; yet I clung to the role of #1 director in the drama of his life.  Release for me has been a gradual thing; I must often pry my fingers off the object of my love. I am now learning to be a friend to my sons; one who accepts, celebrates, loves and gives advice only when asked.  That's quite a change when you have been in a parent role for 27 years!!!

Now that my children are grown I cannot demand to be the first place they will turn for care when they hurt or advice when they struggle.  As they marry, I abdicate that role so they can create a new bond with their spouse.  It must be prominent if their marriage is to be healthy. If my sons are to be strong and confident men I must decline to make choices for them. I am no longer to interpret for them what the bible teaches, or what God wants from them.  They must learn to hear His voice for themselves.  I must move out of the way and release them to discover His wonderful plans for their lives.  God's creativity and love cause to pale any plans I may have dreamed for my children or myself!

So, my new word is RELISH--to regard with great pleasure or approval.  I am so blessed to have lived long enough to see all my sons develop a personal relationship with Christ whom I also love and serve. I can enjoy and celebrate their lives as believers and find a new freedom in serving Him myself as we all release to Him our expectations of what our lives "should be" and follow His lead into the future He has envisioned for us!

"I know what I'm doing.  I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11  The Message