Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dream BIG

Five years ago I sat down with a financial planner and paid for an analysis of my situation and a plan to make sure my 3 sons could somehow get through college. I was single, making it on a salary from a non-profit (no bonuses, little hope of advancement). On paper the numbers didn't promise much at all, my net worth was near zero.

Then Rick, the planner asked me an amazing question: "What other dreams do you have that we need to put in the plan?" I had been single for 7 years and realized all my dreams had died. It was a sad place to be as a Christian. I was surviving, but definitely not dreaming. I had clung to my faith on a daily basis, but had stopped looking ahead. Dreams? None.

Later as I found time to think I realized I did have a dream: That my family would have an opportunity to leave our country and see what God was doing outside of the US. I thrilled to read about what God was doing in Korea and around the globe. Churches that were on fire for Christ and missionaries that were seeing people of all nations responding to the gospel. It was a BIG dream for me with no financial resources to see it happen. I called Rick and he included it in my overall plan. The plan said that with a specific savings plan I could fund a trip by 2010 (the planning folks didn't know about the current economic downturn!) I never was able to open that specific savings account.

But God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Later that very year Ryan went to Honduras with our church and heard the people there sing so beautifully to our savior. He came back changed. His joy as he leads worship now is reflective of that experience! Nate has been to Canada and Europe; and this summer Kevin went to Kenya. The poverty Kevin saw there will color all his studies as a Business Major as he begins his college experience.

In five short years my dream has already been realized! It wasn't on the "books" as possible and we didn't all go on the same trip, but God was gracious to hear that dream in a struggling mother's heart and proved to me that He can do anything! Dream big for your children's spiritual lives and ask God if it can be in HIS PLAN!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

"These are a few of my favorite (summer) things"

1. Cantaloupe, peaches and homegrown tomatoes
2. Summer Camp (especially at Fort Caswell)
3. Sitting on a beach in the sun
4. Diving into a pool on a hot day
5. Lying on a float in a lake with nothing to do
6. Reading a great novel
7. Listening to crickets singing outside just before I go to sleep
8. A fruit smoothie for lunch
9. Early morning fog
10. The breeze just before a summer storm

What are your top 10?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The mission field of Public schools

After 20 years of having a child in North Carolina Public Schools I am finished!!!! My youngest, Kevin, graduated from high school on June 13th. What a great day for him--and me!!!

I have lots of friends who do not choose to send their children to public schools. I am grateful that our country affords us such a choice. As a single mom for 8 of those 20 years public schools was my only option. But looking back I still think it was the right choice for my 3 sons.

The oldest has finished his degree at a state university, and entered college prepared and confident with his public school diploma. He learned the basics of music--his passion-- in middle school and had roles in multiple dramas in high school exploring his love of the arts.

My second son graduates in AUGUST from a different state university. He was a part of the Junior ROTC in high school, which led him to choose a college with ROTC. He learned wonderful leadership skills from admirable military veterans and was positively impacted by them. He will be commissioned into the Air Force as soon as he graduates. He took art in school and found a hidden talent with pen and ink that I hope he will yet find time to explore.

Kevin followed the sports options in school. He sweated in August on a football field and ran the bleachers when he thought he could not. He did it to be on the team. He did it out of respect for the coach. He played basketball for the love of the game and learned from coaches to manage anger with opponents and with himself. He learned that being part of a team means you sometimes sit on the bench!

Public schools allowed them these opportunities.

But more than that all three boys learned that people are vastly different. They learned to work with other children and teens with whom they did not agree. They learned to make new friends and let go of some friends. They learned that every teacher did not find them to be awesome (that's what I had always told them they were!), but that they could still learn from and respect that teacher. They learned that to live in communities you sometimes limit your own freedoms. They learned there are consequences for bucking the system--and times when that is still the right choice!

They learned to converse with people who had totally different family backgrounds and beliefs than our family. They studied evolution and realized that some people actually believe that stuff. They were around students who chose alcohol and sex as entertainment, but they chose not to follow that path. They observed habits and lifestyles that were self destructive and learned to call it what it was.

They learned that home is still the place you will always be welcomed and loved, no matter what kind of day you have had. They also learned the value of a Christian's understanding and compassion when they realized they had a Christian teacher, or school staff person, coach, or a friend. The light of Christ shines brightly in our Christian teachers and in Christian students who meet at the pole, or after school.

Thank you, Chrisitan teachers and students. You make a difference in the mission field that is American public schools! Keep shining!!

Now....four more years with a state university......God, be with us!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mother's Day

I remember the drill. Panic over presents. Panic over big meals to celebrate. My mom usually wanted to come and stay with us for an extended weekend and be entertained for Mother's Day. I will admit now that I sometimes dreaded all the extra stress that brought. She was also difficult to buy for, as she bought whatever she wanted for herself. When she came to visit on mother's day she was the queen.

This Mother's Day I would give anything just to hear her voice, see her smile and sing beside her in church on Sunday. I also miss the tradition we had over the last 10 years to plant flowers together on this weekend. So, I'll plant my flowers and picture her in the gardens of heaven, smiling and singing.

This weekend love the mom God gave you.....while you can.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

"The heritage of those who fear your name..."

I am awed at the words that David wrote in Psalm 61 some 3,000 years ago. They are words that echoed the cry of my soul also on some of my life's most difficult days. Word pictures that helped me to hold on to God.

Verses 1-3: Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,

(the beach is the end of the earth, right???)

I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher
than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the
foe."


Psalm 61:5 "For you have heard my vows, O God; you have
given me the heritage of those who fear your name."

And this cry from verse 5 was also on my lips--a prayer for my children from a broken home to come to God; to devote their lives to Christ; to give their all for the Kingdom of God.

Too many people today think of heritage as wealth or property passed from generation to generation. I know my parents wanted to "leave me something", and they did. They were people of faith and lived out their lives faithful to God till the end. I have the sure faith that they live eternally in heaven. That is the heritage I pass on to my children. I go back to that cry from scripture that my children will hold fast to God's hand when their difficult days come, when they need a strong tower. I believe that their faith can grow deeper and stronger than mine. That God will lead them to places I have not yet seen, and multiply their influence for the building of the kingdom of God. God is allowing me today to see that happening in their young adult lives. It is a gift; an answer to my cries from 10 years ago.

Your children may be young. But it is not to early to pass on to them your stories of faith and your prayers, that they will follow your heritage of honoring Christ whatever comes and that they will choose to invest their all for His Kingdom.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Easter reflection and invitation

Easter is always a holy day for me. Resurrection is a keystone of my faith. The message of easter is true year-round, but to celebrate Easter is to reflect on how my faith is a story of my relationship with someone who is alive. I don't follow a historical figure--I have a growing spiritual journey with a God who understands what it means to be human, and is alive to walk with me every day I live!!!

Every year at Easter that truth is magnified again for me. And I don't want the resurrection truth to just be a one day event, so I look forward to it --- for weeks! To think about Christ's sufferings for humankind, his betrayal, his love and forgiveness poured out for those who beat and humiliated him causes wonder in my heart. I have heard it every year, yet I hear it as new again.

Easter is about losing life to find life; offering forgiveness for the undeserving; going through death as the doorway to new life. Easter is faith, hope and love. What words do you use to describe what Easter means in your life?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Puzzled? HOPE lives!

I love puzzles! I like soduku and jigsaws and computer timed puzzles too! Unlike my friend JS I find them relaxing. One reason may be that I remember as a child that our family often pulled them out of the closet during snows or in the summer during afternoon rain storms at the lake. It was something we could do as a family and often we would do the large ones and leave them out for a week or so until we finished. I've had some awesome moments already this month working on puzzles with some of our kids at church! We are using puzzles to talk about HOPE.

Here are some things I have learned about puzzles:
1) sometimes walking away is a good thing. Eye strain and brain strain dictate a break! And so often after walking away you can come back and the very piece you searched in vain for earlier will be the first thing you see upon returning! It is as though your brain actually worked on finding it while you were away!

2)Things can change fast. I have often looked for what I was sure was a dark blue piece to finally try an indigo piece that was an exact fit. When it comes to hues and blends one can't always know how quickly things can lighten (or darken) up!

3) The picture on the box is not always in proportion to the puzzle. "But the building is taller! It's not time for sky yet!" I have often been perplexed when the picture doesn't meet my expectations. It can be a source of anger for me!!! The only solution is to keep working it out!

Puzzles are frequently like my life experiences. I need to walk away from frustrating situations to get perspective. Some good sleep can often helped me see the solution I formerly missed.

Often, just when I think things will never change--light breaks through. God often surprises me with a beautiful color I didn't expect.

And my expectations can keep me from seeing the answers right in front of me. God is not limited by my expectations. My limited vision is in stark contrast to His creativity.

God promises that He is at work around us--we just aren't always in tune with the colors with which He chooses to paint. Or we are looking too hard for what WE expect. I am relearning Romans 8:28 which I summarize in my brain as "We KNOW....God works for the GOOD..."

Saturday, January 31, 2009

love gifts

A mother's journey of 25 years

1st Child--It was 25 years ago today you were "due" to arrive
After 2 "false starts" to the hospital you finally came 10 days later; some of the longest days of my life!
Everything was amazing and documented in your life--there are loads of pictures and notations of every "first" thing you did
We were learning together you and I; my life totally adjusting to your needs
I saw myself as your protector
Adults were your role models; you were always watching and copying me
Through the years your path has expanded with many friends to learn from and travel with

2nd child--Your life was barely announced, then snuffed out
There was silent pain, not well understood but never forgotten

3rd child--Your birth was easy as soft snow fell in the early morning hours
Your brother was fascinated with you and he was the model you followed after
I was a mom of experience now and didn't push you to perform or be perfect
The pictures were fewer, but your birth position was probably easier
You may have been compared to another, but you always proved your uniqueness
With you I was trying to be Supermom--work, home,church, sports, clubs, travel-- always in a rush
You've always dreamed big, but you knew where home was

4th child--Your life here was a slow loss
There was painful knowledge that your future here was questionable
So sure you were my daughter it was a desperately sad time and too often it was an unspoken sadness

5th child--Your arrival was joy! You were the center of all attention
Yet it was you who did the adjusting to life in a busy family
I had the experience to let you be yourself; to struggle, fail and get back up
There were hectic times and yet now I knew how to build in times to relax as well
You always had to share my time and there was guilt for me with that
But you have kept me young, still make me smile and laugh and teach me much
I have let you see more of my limitations

To each of you I had differing gifts to offer. Yet to each of you I gave my best in love.
Yet all I have given is unmatched by the richness your lives have woven into the weaving of my life, and continue to blend into the stories I both share and silently treasure. To be a mom, is a gift of immense joy.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Preschool Training

Here are the details for January 25th's Preschool Training.
4:30-6:00pm, Lower Level Preschool Area, Multi-Purpose Building
(Training is for current teachers and hopefully a whole bunch of new ones, especially parents who are currently not serving in any other area of ministry on Sunday AM's.)
Email Gaylin at gaylinstewart@northstate.net
or Bob James at bjames@northstate.net


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Christmas Eve with the family


A New Year, not a totally clean slate

Reflecting on 2008 I see many blessings and opportunities I had to grow spiritually. Some lessons I have had to relearn, recycle, review; God takes me through remediation with Him often. There are spiritual truths that I can quickly state--but struggle to live out. This year gives me a new year to live out my faith--but it's never a clean slate; there's too much I have already learned!

I want to brag on my hubby Tim, because one of the great reminders about my priorities came through my husband's unselfish action at Christmas. He asked everyone in our family to invest the money that would usually buy him a gift into helping someone else or donating to a worthy cause. Because of that here's how the world is a better place: donations were given to a ministry to the homeless in Charlotte, NC; money was given to TOMS SHOES helping provide shoes to people in third world countries; a gift given to support the International Justice Mission that rescues victims of violent opression around the world; a gift to aid in the providing of fresh water in Africa; and two gifts to ministry in Kenya. One person's unselfish act can make a difference! This year I want to be that kind of unselfish person! THANKS TS